Wishes and Secrets
by Ayamari Uta
Summary: The bird will keep flying no matter what. Prussia-centric fic with HRE Germany theory and a hint of PruCan. Fem!Prussia is in there as well.


Author's Note: A little one shot explaining Prussia's little past. I will probably work on it more and develop it into a full story, but I just needed to get this one out.

It is really sad. /3

Notes: Prussia-centric, slight PruCan, fem!Prussia, HRE= Germany, and a bit of France-bashing.

* * *

_Feeling down after it did not happen, hanging my head inside the dark wind_

_Moonlight tears overflow my palm_

_"What do you want?"_

* * *

**Wishes and Secrets**

**~AU**

* * *

_~Present Day~_

It was too cruel.

Why was this coming out now? Everyone was happy. Nobody needed to know about the past. The girl closed her eyes as the warm water ran through her fingers and the cloth.

Was it because of that spell? Had it not only turned her into a girl, but had it also turned her into more emotional?

She looked down at the brunette, who was peacefully sleeping. She looked better now. The girl wiped the last traces of blood and then wrapped the bandages tightly.

Tears were running down her cheeks pathetically.

Was this part of being a girl?

If so, she wanted to go back to her normal self; a strong and awesome guy.

She could remember that day as clear as a glass of clean and purified water. She despised that day. She hoped it was only a nightmare, but it had happened...

* * *

**_~Past~_**

_The Awesome Me's Awesome Diary- The Napoleonic Wars and Onward_

_I was so awesome today again. I got my whole fleet ready to attack! Oh, right, summary:_

_The whole war bullshit is going awesomely well. I am preparing to go to war with Austria against Frenchie pants. It is very frustrating to try to get rid of the unawesome guy. He is always trying to get my little brother the Holy Roman Empire and Austria. It's so annoying._

_I am ready to give France all I got! _

_P.S. The unawesome Britain came in and got in our side. Guess he really hates that unawesome France, huh? I don't even know why doesn't he just kill him off already. _

_P.S.S The awesome me doesn't like HRE. He is so snobbish. He thinks he is going to beat France on his own. That is so unawesome!_

_-/-_

The Prussian nation smiled proudly as he wrote down that awesome entry in his diary. His eyes traveled to the library of his diaries. It was very extensive, almost making a hallway of them. He adjusted his hat and then looked back at the tip of his quill, which was dripping with ebony ink. Then, the white-haired nation was quick to notice that the page that he had just written in was the penultimate page.

"One last page to write in!" said Gilbert with a childish excitement in his eyes. The nation laughed and left the diary on his desk. He decided he would write more of the details the next day. He could easy try to write his victory over France. He would mention how awesome he was. He left and then closed the door tightly.

He could feel his heart pumping with excitement. He had a feeling that his fight with France would be really good. France's new leader was really skilled, after all. They were a threat to Austria. It was very intriguing to Prussia. He would try to fight him.

The country walked down the hallway as he revised in his head the topics he would have to talk about to his brother, the Holy Roman Empire. Austria had met with Prussia a couple of days earlier from that date to discuss battle plans.

Prussia reassured himself that the plan was awesome as he opened the door. He could recognize that hat anywhere. Prussia wondered what he was doing. Well, he would find out.

"Hey, unawesome twerp!" Prussia greeted as he scared Holy Rome from behind. The smaller country glared at him after getting over his unforeseen problem. He narrowed his blue eyes and looked at Prussia, scowling.

"Stop it!" He scolded. "You are going to ruin my Italia's portrait."

Prussia looked at the portrait in front of the smaller country and snorted. It was a photo of Chibitalia. He then smirked and whistled.

"That is such a pretty girl!" Prussia teased. "I am falling in love with this girl!"

Holy Rome looked horrified. He actually believed Prussia when he said that. If they were not allies or brothers, he would have sentenced Prussia to the slammer already and would have had him executed.

"I am not going to let you have her, you idiot! I cannot believe your foolishness!"

Prussia laughed and petted him. Holy Rome may be arrogant, but he had quite the expressive face. Prussia liked making him angry. Then he cleared his throat. He was on business this time.

"We are dividing our troops." He informed, this time becoming earnest. Holy Rome looked more serious too.

"Which front am I taking? West, East, or direct?" He asked, setting his portrait of Chibitalia away in a box.

Prussia looked thoughtful as he said, "West. East and direct are too risky for you to take, little guy."

Holy Rome looked offended. He was going to be given an easy job?

"I can do East!" He protested. His hands became into fists. "I am not weak, Prussia!"

Prussia frowned as he sat down in front of the smaller child. He then made Holy Rome face him by setting a hand on his shoulder.

"You **can't** do it."

Holy Rome widened his blue eyes and then slapped Prussia's hand away. "I can do it! I know I can!" He looked up. "Let me prove myself!"

Prussia went silent. Suddenly, he laughed. "Fine, fine. You can take East. Austria is really weak too and he can just take West." He said mockingly, making Holy Rome smile.

"I won't fail! Italia wants me to come back."

"You better, or the awesome me will take her as my girl! Kesesesese- Ouch! So not awesome Holy..."

"Hmph."

"Now, want to train?"

"Okay!"

Prussia punched the face of a French soldier and then kicked another. His hands were like whirlwinds as he punched more and more soldiers. He could feel himself smirk as he made a whole flip and stabbed through one of the men on the horses. The country was swift as a thunderbolt, and he was just as destructive as well.

The country was finished with the direct front. He could go check on the Eastern front now. He was sure that France was fighting against Austria; a report had come from the Western front that France was trying to corner Austria.

Everything was going smoothly. Prussia was sure that he could win this with little destruction from his side. The man ran towards the east, leaving a powerful commander in charge. His sword shone as he passed through the bloody camp of the French and some of his people. His eyes were shocked as he noted something strange right away; everything was silent in the eastern front.

Nothing was heard. Not even the occasional gunshot. It was disturbing. It was unnerving. Prussia could hear his own footsteps.

An abrupt scream resounded then, making Prussia jump. It was high-pitched, and it had been horrified. Prussia could feel fear start to stir in him.

What was going on?

"Stop! Stop!" A sobbing voice was suddenly heard. Prussia could recognize it as... Holy Rome's...

He ran towards it, multiple thoughts going off at once.

Who had been able to corner Holy Rome? Why had he left him alone? Was that France? Was he too late?

"No. You are going to-"

"FRANCE!"

"P-Prussia?"

"Oh, P-Prussia! I got this fight!"

"No, you don't! Look at you... Look at you..."

"I only lost a bit of my sight. It's no problem. Italia is not picky."

"NO! YOU IDIOT, YOU LOST HALF OF YOUR FACE!"

"I did... But I..."

"Your leg... Where I-is it?"

"Somewhere... I can still stand on my other one..."

"Y-You... you idiot..."

"Heh, I am okay. I told you I could handle it, Brud- Ahhh... Ah..."

"You shouldn't let down your guard, mon cher..."

White. Blue. It did not matter. His wide eye met with Prussia's. His little hand was grabbing the blade of the sword that was going through him mercilessly. Blood ran through his hand and dripped down to the cold ground slowly, almost as if everything was gong in slow-motion.

Prussia- No, Gilbert... Gilbert opened his mouth in surprise. No words could describe the horror, the emotion, the disbelief...

He tried screaming for him. Well, Gilbert tried to scream. He tried to stop him somehow. But it could not be changed.

France finally pulled the sword back and allowed the smaller country- no, the innocent child- fall to the ground with a soft thud.

Gilbert fell to his knees, weak from the impact of the image. His hands were trembling. Hell, he was...

He was just there. He was not a country at the moment.

He was a mourning human.

The monster smiled in relief. "I finally won. Perhaps we can get out country back into place now..." France muttered, smiling.

That bastard was smiling.

**_Bullshit._**

The bird began to fly around. It tried to peck and to struggle against its enemy, who was trying to capture him. The bird chirped and flew around solemnly. His eyes were like burning ice as he beat himself against the gun of the more powerful and malicious human. The enemy shot one wing, but even so, the bird kept flying.

The enemy shot down his other wing.

The bird kept flying.

The enemy killed the bird.

The bird kept flying.

The enemy ran away and left him alone.

The bird kept flying.

Another bird came afterwards and noticed a young bird dead on the ground.

The bird kept flying.

He kept flying until the other bird that came embraced him, and allowed him to drown in the sea of sorrow.

But... The bird did not want to drown.

He kept flying.

-/-

_Auf Wiedersehen, mein Bruder._

* * *

_~Present Day~_

The girl had smiled to her mother when she reassured her that she was awesomely well. She forced a smile to her brother as well, and laughed like she always did.

She had always been the type to keep secrets. It was true; perhaps she had overreacted when she had been accused by the brunette of being a liar.

She was a liar.

"Pasta is so awesome." She commented as she entered the Italian restaurant, yawning a bit at the lack of excitement. She ordered a plate of pasta and then sat down. She stared out the window solemnly.

She was smiling, but inside, she was frowning.

* * *

_**~Past~**_

"C'mon, little guy... Eat a little." Prussia encouraged, trying to get some wurst into the smaller boy's mouth. "You will feel better. Come on."

The blond boy looked at it almost bored. He then opened his mouth. He did not know how to talk. Prussia had tried to make him talk, but the boy would not talk. He would only whimper, yell, and say something when he was scared.

Gilbert fed him. "There we go." He said gently. "That was not so unawesome, or was it?"

The boy didn't answer, like always.

Gilbert then picked him up and petted his head. "C'mon... Say something awesome... or unawesome. Just say something." He said, almost begging.

The boy just stared at him.

He was not going to talk today, again.

"Okay, you can do that too. How unawesome of you." Gilbert complained, and then set the boy down on the bed. "Time for you to go to sleep and have awesome dreams!" He exclaimed.

The boy merely watched Prussia as he took off his shirt and climbed into bed with him. The blankets were worn down, but they were still warm enough to get them through another night. The Prussian country smiled at him. "Gute Nacht, little guy."

He pretended to have gotten a response and then hugged the smaller boy close. "Make sure to wake up early. It's your turn to make breakfast."

He received no answer.

Gilbert hugged the boy tightly, his eyes tired as if he had not gotten any sleep.

Even though he had to spend nights awake to reassure this boy that France was not coming after him, it was still...

It was nice to pretend that they were a normal couple of brothers.

* * *

~_Present Day_~

The girl laughed bitterly. "Why am I getting these memories now?" She asked to herself aloud as she ate her pasta messily. She had never been good for any manners.

She then smirked as she found a flyer on her table. It looked like her idea of "Italy loves Germany's wurst" was working awesomely well...

* * *

_**~Past~**_

Prussia knew he could disappear.

It was not a surprise. To revive or join the German states to get the Holy Roman Empire up again was no easy game.

"Prussia! You do know that you can disappear, right!?" His boss exclaimed. "We won't be the most powerful German country at all! You are mad! Cynical!"

Gilbert looked at his pen, bored. He had clearly made up his mind already. Nothing that his boss was saying was going to stop him from achieving that goal. It was impossible to stop him from achieving that goal.

"I am awesomely aware." He replied, just to amuse his boss, who looked surprised. Then he yawned. "Tell me, little guy, what do you have to be ready for, as a military leader, when facing a death situation?"

The human looked shocked at the question. He never really got a serious question like that. But it was easy to answer.

"To mobilize immediately, and save ourselves and our people-"

"To risk our own life."

* * *

~_Present Day_~

The girl chuckled as she finished off her pasta.

"The awesome me has to find Birdie!" She told herself.

Julchen smiled genuinely as she closed her eyes and sighed.

Even though she was a liar... Even though she was a secretive bitch...

Her _Bruder_ was finally happy.

Julchen could not have asked for something better.

Yet, she mused, even though she didn't ask for anything extra, she got someone special for herself.

She better make haste! She knew it was hard for people who didn't come often to Italy to get lost. Her special someone was probably lost with those hockey skates and the gear. She laughed as she realized that.

However, now, she had one more wish...

She wanted to be a guy again.

So she could brag about her five meters again!

_Kesesesesesese~!_


End file.
